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Sunday, August 29, 2010

sweet poison


love... is the sweetest poison that i have ever taste.... it devours me till i was left with nothing but the desire for you. you and only you.it chains me to you so that eventhogh i'm free to roam the sky, i still am bound by you.

the way your lips touching mine made my head go wild and crazy, thinking only you, while your hands naughtyly touched my skin, which leaves me tinggling in places that i could never imagine. you made me fall head over heels for you just by looking at those dreamy sexy eyes of yours. your caressed my cheeks with the tender and soft hand of yours, making me feeling hot and shudder. the way your body intertwined with mine makes me feel like i want all of you be mine. i want you to let me enter your world without me breaking in. i want you to feel the same way ido for you. your scent has been ingrained in me. making me feel your presence even you're not around, realising that i miss more and more every single damn day.

love... is still a poison, no matter how sweet it tastes. it's killing me inside with its elixir, leaving me in hunger for it more than before. it scarred my twisted heart as it took you away from me. with you gone, so does my desire to love. love has been nothing but a history in my journal of life. i'm at lost without you by my side. i'm unable to control muself as my lust to touch you once again becoming more severe, but alas, to no avail. when i called for you, you did't reply. i can't bear this loneliness alone anymore. how i wanted to hear your sweet melodious voice again, calling me softly and tenderly, if you only knew. 



  

Friday, August 27, 2010

day by day

Leave 
Yeah, Finally I realize that I am nothing without you 
I was so wrong, forgive me 
Ah ah ah ah~ 
[Verse 1; GD + TOP] 
My broken heart like a wave 
My shaken heart like a wind 
My heart vanished like smoke 
It can't be removed like a tattoo 
I sigh deeply as if a ground is going to cave in 
Only dusts are piled up in my mind 
(say goodbye) 
[GD Rap] 
Yeah, I thought I wouldn't be able to live even one day without you 
But somehow I managed to live on (longer) than I thought 
You don't answer anything as I cry out "I miss you" 
I hope for a vain expectation but now it's useless 
[TOP Rap] 
What is it about that person next to you, did he make you cry? 
Dear can you even see me, did you forget completely? 
I am worried, I feel anxiety because I can't get close nor try to talk to you 
I spend long nights by myself, erasing my thoughts a thousand times 
[Chorus] 
Don't look back and leave 
Don't find me again and live (on) 
Because I have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories 
I can bear it in some way 
I can stand in some way 
You should be happy if you are like this 
I become dull day by day (eh eh eh eh) 
Oh girl I cry, cry 
You're my all, say goodbye… 
[Verse 2; SR + DS] 
If we pass by each other on the street 
Act like you didn't see me and go the way you were walking to 
If you keep thinking about our past memories 
I might go look for you secretly 
[GD] Always be happy with him, (so) I won't ever get a different mind 
Even smallest regret won't be left out ever 
Please live well as if I should feel jealous 
[TOP] You should always be like that bright sky, like that white cloud 
Yes, you should always smile like that as if nothing happened 
[Repeat Chorus] 
[Bridge; DS + SR] 
I hope your heart feels relieved 
Please forget about me and live (on) 
Those tears will dry completely 
As time passes by 
[YB] It would've hurt less if we didn't meet at all (mm) 
Hope you will bury our promise of being together forever baby 
I pray for you 
[Repeat Chorus] 
Oh girl I cry, cry 
You're my all, say goodbye, bye 
Oh my love don't lie, lie 
You're my heart, say goodbye

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

the lonely sun...

The lonely sun is shining.

Why do I have to decide now my future that troubles me so?
What's the use of victory on a lonely journey?
A young boy who lives quietly, a quiet existence.
The moon that watched over this era starts talking to me.

If the signpost of your path were me
It would be good if you could shine on me brightly and with a strong heart.

The wave of pain that surrounds me is advancing on me,
in this kind of beach what can I do?

My beloved fate with you
is in a sad, lonely sea
but still I start swimming.

The lonely sun is shining.
Without knowing a red passion
burn out staying silent.
In a warmth that doesn't know the cold
the moon whispers as a lullaby,
the lonely sun goes on shining.

If the signpost of your path were me
It would be good if you could shine on me brightly and with a strong heart.

The unfortunate destiny of you and me
has dried up in an era that's become heartless.
but still I start walking
but still I start walking.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

let go...

Drink up baby down,

Mmmm, are you in or are you out?

Leave your things behind
'cause it's all going off without you,
Excuse me, too busy you're writing your tragedy,
These mishaps, you bubble wrap,
when you've no idea what you're like.

So let go, let go, jump in,
Oh well, whatcha waiting for,
It's alright,
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown,
Let go, l-let go, just get in,
Oh, it's so amazing here,
It's alright,
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown.

It gains the more it gives,
And then it rises with the fall,
So hand me that remote,
Can't you see that all that stuff's a sideshow.

Such boundless pleasure,
We've no time for later now,
You can't await your own arrival,
You've 20 seconds to comply,

So let go, let go, jump in,
Oh well, whatcha waiting for,
It's alright,
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown,
Let go, l-let go, just get in,
Oh, it's so amazing here,
It's alright,
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown. 

So let go, jump in,
Oh well, whatcha waiting for,
It's alright,
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown,
Let go, l-let go, just get in,
Oh, it's so amazing here,
It's alright,
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown.

The breakdown.
'Cause theres beauty in the breakdown.
It's so amazing here,
'cause theres beauty in the breakdown 

Saturday, August 14, 2010

i'm sorry....

let me just say this to you... the one who loves me unconditionally, the one who gives me srength and provokes me to my victory. whenever that i feel alone, left and abandon like a broken toy in the dark alley of life, you gave me light in places that i couldn't think of. you are the moon that light my way along this broken path. you are my sun that hides behind the clouds. even when i can't see you, i know that you are there, always watching over me and treasure me from above. you are the rainbow that comes after a stormy day, coloring my sorry days. you are the antidote for the poisons in my life. you are the love i search in this divine cruelty of such a world. in you i give my trust, my soul and my life. i may not be a knight in shining armour that strut my way into the battlefield, defending everything in your name. nor a priest that speaks of sermons of god's thoughts. i may not be a hippie that see everything in this world as peaceful and carefree as the animals that jauntily hop around in the woods. i may be neurotic, thinking that everybody is never be pleased when they talk to me. i may be a hypocrite that let myself be carried by the current of life. i may be a person that occupies a devilish tongue with a cold heart and soul. i may be all that... but.. you still except me for whoever i am.


 i'm never afraid of the dark, but welcome it instead. i do welcome the dark. because in the dark, i can imagine that i'm not even there, not even exist, disappear in the oblivion darkness. becoming one with it once and for all. but you pulled me away from all that, with your brightly shine and warm. you let me be in the light, where everything will be alright an secured. i was the baby that was hold gently by you. i feel safe within your grace. you make me want to stand up against my-unsecure-self and fight for my freedom towards these binds that ties me to the dreadful world. 


i know that i've hurt you for my wrong doings. i know your heart are twinge with the stabs like a knife with my twisted words . i know because it hurts me too. you've shed your tears one too many times, turn your back against your own beliefs because you wanna have faith in me. you've let yourself in a roller coaster ride when you let me into your life. i know you deserves better in life. i know you've closed the doors to your dreams just to see mine coming true. i know that you wish nothing but praying for my success in life. but sometimes those dreams of yours for me are too big for me to fill. for that i am sorry. 


i am sorry because i couldn't be like you always wanted me to. i'm sorry because i can't follow your advices and follow what my hearts says instead. i'm sorry for making you worry about me too much till you couldn't sleep at night. i'm sorry that i can't be someone that you are proud of.


i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry

....

Thursday, August 12, 2010

someone to fall back on


I'll never be
A knight in armor
with a sword in hand
or a kamikaze fighter 

Don't count on me
to storm the barricades 
and take a stand 
or hold my ground

You'll never see
any scars or wounds
I don't walk on coals
I won't walk on water

I'am no prince 
I'am no saint
I'am not anyone's wildest dreams
but I will stand behind
and be someone to fall back on

some comedy
your bruised and beaten down 
but I'm the one
whose looking for a favor

still honestly
you don't believe me
but the things I had 
are the things you need

you look at me 
like I don't make sense
like a waste of time
that serves no purpose

I'am no prince 
I'am no saint
and if that's what you believe
you need, you're wrong
I don't need much
you need someone to fall back on

and I'll be that
I'll take your side
if I'm the only one 
I'm used to that

you've been alone
I'd rather be....
the half of us needs a you
the best of me
and I will be....

I'll be your prince 
I'll be your saint
I will go crashing through fences
in your name, I will, I swear
I'll be someone to fall back on

I'll be, the one who waits
and for as long as you let me
I will be 
the one you need
I'll be someone to fall back on

some on to fall back on...
one to fall back on.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

to someone that deserves this...

these words are for those who were called friends... i've been keeping these feelings inside me, and it fetids me. i've become scared of the word friends. REAL FRIENDS. i've become scared of shaking hands with somebody new, just because i once did it with you. do you still remember? or have you forgotten?


i've known you for quite sometimes now. but i couldn't put my finger on what was wrong with us. u made me laugh, u made me smile and u made me be me. for better or for worse, u were there,saying that u would give your hand to me so that i won' t fall. even if i would fall to the ground-with your gentle smile you said that you'd helped me on my own two feet. when i was trembling, trying to walk again, you steadied me and walked besides me. i thought that was for real.


i thought you and i would never be apart. together, we tried to get by . we tried to find the leprechaun's gold at the end of a rainbow. together, we walked through the rain with our smile on our faces. how i wished i knew that those smile was nothing but fake. do yo still remember, the times we spent under that shady tree, drinking ice lemon tea and talked just about anything? sometimes we would just lie on our backs, looking at the bluest sky and had nothing in the world to care. we would take a nap on each other's side, and played till it was dusk. i wish i could turn back to those times. because i still want to believe in you.


DO you still remember, when we used to have sleepovers, we would be staying up all night and talked about your prince? how you brighten up at the mention of him. DO you still remember? when you ran into my arms when you found out that your prince already have a princess by his side? how red and puffy your eyes were back then. " be strong," i once said. DO you remember? that moment when something troubles you, i would rushed to you and stayed through all those trouble times? DO you still remember? even at the back of your mind or at the bottom of your heart, i hope there are still rooms for these memories. because i still wanna believe in you.


like a storm that came quietly, you left me hanging here. because you said that we are different now. i was thunder-strucked that tears failed to come out and washed my shock away. only the inclement days in my heart mends those wounds that can never be treated medically. i tried to hate you, but i failed doing so because of the memories of you and me filled my head till it hurts too much to bear. i tried to forget you and get you out of my mind. but i can't either because i treasured you with all my heart. the knife called betrayal which you stabbed deep into my heart wasn't enough to flush those memories we shared away. through the nights how i wished, i really wished, that the we'd never met. that would be easier...


i've closed my doors to everyone that handed me their friendship. i pretend that i was happy and laugh as hard as i could so that everyone wouldn't have to worry about me. i found that it's hard to lend my trust. i find it hard to start a conversation with someone new. so i only listen, becoming a third person. it wasn't so bad after all. i didn't get hurt because i am always on the verge of neither. i've become neither black nor white. i've made a fortress  that barricades me towards the outside world. i've crumbled one to many times, but i managed to built myself up on my own. i stand on own two feet, not wanting to depend myself on other anymore, just like what i did to you.


BUT LET ME TELL YOU ONE THING. i'm happy this way because THERE ARE STILL PEOPLE WHO CARE. people who asked me how i was holding up after you abandon me like a broken toy. after you left, things aren't always BAD. because i'm still living, breathing, and doing everything that i love. in those thunderous storms, i found shelter that keeps me warm and dry till the storm has disperse.


so 
THANK YOU, 
for waking me up from my slumber. 
THANK YOU,
 for the lesson that i've learnt. 
THANK YOU,
 for opening my eyes towards a sunnier days. 
THANK YOU,
 for making my life beautiful once. 
THANK YOU,
 for getting me hurt.
THANK YOU
for everything....

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

more than

So they paved the road to providence

And lined up the memories

In reference to what was dead and gone

Then the band and the symphony

In sweet sounding harmony

Lay down their guns in disgust

For they knew their armies at last



So haven't we seen enough

On the cover of

Haven't we had our fun

Watching on the TV screens, oh yeah



So we harbor our hopes and fears

In houses and evergreens

Cast adrift, what we dont need

Then the rhythm of tambourine

And drama of marching scene

Lay down their violence in trust

For they knew how much the cost



So haven't we seen enough

On the cover of

Haven't we had our fun

Watching on the TV screens



For when all is said and done and our aims run

Then we'll come

Monday, August 2, 2010

will you hate me?



Smile in the two- way mirror of my eyes
I put on my faith like I wear a disguise
You can’t see my soul
See the life that I live
Show you the mask of the best I can give
I’ve hid here afraid like a child behind.
Truth of my thoughts that clutter my mind.
What if you knew about all that I do?
Things that I think,
The me that is true.

Would you call me a hypocrite?
Call me a liar?
Would you curse out my name?
Would you damn me to fire?
Would you know what to say?
Or would you just walk away?
Afraid the me I’ve tried to hide
Would you closely resemble the truth of you that lies inside?

I’ve been looking for answers since becoming an adult
Not looking for dogma to live like a cult
I’ve been looking to live,
I’ve been living to find
Freedom from cages that limit my mind.

Would you call me a hypocrite?
Call me a liar?
Would you curse out my name?
Would you damn me to fire?
Would you know what to say?
Or would you just walk away?
Afraid the me I’ve tried to hide
Would you closely resemble the truth of you that lies inside?

Will I scare you, upset you, frustrate you, irate you?
Challenge a lifestyle or weaken your trust
Or will you see my efforts and my passionate sincerity
Would you see just a little of yourself in me
Will you take off your mask so we can both be free.

Would you call me a hypocrite?
Call me a liar?
Would you curse out my name?
Would you damn me to fire?
Would you know what to say?
Or would you just walk away?
Afraid the me I’ve tried to hide
Would you closely resemble the truth of you that lies inside?

noise

There are days when you feel so small
And you know you could be so tall
You think you got no chance

Look at the end, look what we do
Here and now we need you
Silence can destroy
Get up and raise your voice

Make some noise
Here and now
noise
To the world
 noise
All the things you believe in 
noise
Let them hear you
 noise
Let them feel you
 noise
Make them know
That you can make noise
noise

You are free, you are innocent
You believe in a happy end
Days turn into years

Now your here with your broken mind
While your dreams are sleeping quiet
Silence can destroy
Get up and raise your voice

Make some noise
Here and now,
 noise
To the world, 
noise
All the things you believe in, 
noise
Let them hear you, 
noise
Let them feel you,
noise
Make them know
That you can make noise, 
noise

Can you feel it?
 Can you feel it?
Can you feel it? 
Can you feel it?
Come on
come on

As everything you've ever been
Why don't we share? Come take me there
You can make them feel
That they care