Tuesday, December 21, 2010

chaptre 9

“Meet me at my workplace.”

That was the message that I received from you. But you didn’t deliver it yourself. Of course you couldn’t. I’ve been avoiding you since that night. I was afraid to involve you in this. Too many terrible things could happen to you.

“Ya should giv’ ‘im a chance, Jo,” the manager suddenly came up to me. I was clearly dazed at that moment and when I snapped back at reality, the glass in my hand slipped and crashed to the ground.

“Shit. I’m sorry, Mr. Randevou. I’ll clean it up right away.” how clumsy I could be.

“Leave it.” He held my hand to stop me from running away. He was looking at me with his gentle blue eyes. I couldn’t bring myself to meet his gaze, so just looked down on the wooden floor.

The bar was almost empty. It was that day where people weren’t swarming this place. Though it’s a gay bar, a lot of people just came here to enjoy a good drink. A place for them to be whoever they really wanted to be without the worries of being labeled. I guess that includes me as well. When I first came here, Mr. Randevou let me work here without asking for my past. He showed me kindness as a friend and as a father. Once I asked him why he opened this bar, he simply said ‘to receive someone like you’. A man with heart indeed, he is.

“Here. Take this.” He handed me a glass of wine. I was hesitant to take it. It was one of the finest wine that only be served for the rich. “It’s on the house.” He winked at me playfully, and poured himself a glass too. Samuel was out somewhere.

“So…” Mr. Randevou started the conversion as I gobbled down my drink. I could see he disapproved of my action, but he ignored it since he knew I could tolerate well with drinks. It’s just that means I won’t be focusing on what he was about to say.

“I don’t think I wanna see him.” I still couldn’t bring my eyes to face him.

“I dunno wha’ ‘appen to ya kids. But ya shud made up o’ready. It’s no fun seein’ ya two figh’ing.” He had a fatherly kindness in his voice. I looked up to him, and I lost it. I covered my face and sobbed silently. He held me gently in his arms. I was like a lost child. I was. And it was a feeling of relief when he patiently waited for me to calm down. I cried silently, taking the advantage of his warmth and kindness. It’s been so long I’ve been this childish.

“It’s been a while since I last cried.” Mr. Randevou let go of me and smile.

“sometimes it’s a good thin’ to cry ya ‘eart out.” He took another sip from his drink and poured me another. I took my time to enjoy the drink as I sat across the counter in front of Mr. Randevou. I took a glimpse of him. He had a Santa-like figure, I should say, with his round belly and his well-kept beard. Lines were visible around his eyes, showing his age.

I let out a sigh. Mr. Randevou looked me. “ ya kno’…” he silenced for a moment, wanting to read my expression before he continued. “Tha’ Adrian kid sure look pre’ey down when ‘e saw me.”

I let out another sigh. I was really at my end.

“go ‘n see ‘im, kid. Straigh’ thin’s out. Before it’s too late.” He spoke as if he could read my mind.

Here I was, standing in front of Hokka, one of the most elite host clubs in this district. I was unsure if I had it wrong, looking at the direction that Mr. Randevou gave me. I hesitated to enter. I still thought it was a bad idea to meet you here. So I turned away from this place.

“Jo? Jo, is that you?!” Gemma caught up with me before I could run away. He hugged me from behind with such enthusiast.

“Hey there, big guy.”  I ruffled his hair. He seemed to like it, like a puppy. A big one at that too.

“What are you doing here? Did you miss me that much?” he giggled. He seemed to be in a good mood. “Come on in. it’s my treat.”

“No thanks. I was just passing by.” Quick, before you see me, I said in my heart.

“Oh, c’mon. It’ll be fun. I’ll introduce you to a lot of people.”

He kept dragging me into the club. As I entered it, it felt like I just stepped into a whole new different world. The interior was lavishly designed and furnished, and the group of people there were amazingly well suit up. As expected from a host club for the riches.

‘Jo?” I heard you. But I couldn’t bring myself to even look at you. I looked down at the marbled floor that had my reflection. I was really terrible, and even I couldn’t bear to look at myself, so I looked at something else. Anything else but you.

“I’m glad you could make it.” We were out from that club. Its lavishness seemed to suffocate me. I lighted a cigarette. We were distant and my eyes wouldn’t even meet yours. You were anxious with my childish deed.

“I came here to say goodbye.”

We sat on the bench on the park. It was quiet at this time of the night. You looked down at your hands. I only took a glimpse at you then look at the playground ahead. My cigarette already burnt out a while ago. So I was left with nothing practical to do. Right, like smoking is something to do. But still, it gave me something to do.

“When are you leaving?”

“As soon as I got news from Kazuki.”

There was silence.

“Are you… gonna come back?”

I got up.

“I don’t think so.”

“Wait!” you grabbed my hand and forced me to turned and looked at you. I didn’t retaliate, but you let go of my hand and looked away. I wondered what you were thinking back then. You were trembling in front of me. The same when I first touched you. Were you in so much pain? I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. As I said these words, my hands moved to touched you, to hug you tightly. But I stopped halfway. I turned away again, and that was when you hugged me. I was bewildered and stood there, letting you embrace me that way. You put your head on my shoulder. Minutes passed by and we just stood there. Like idiots.

“Promise me something.”


“Please come back here.”

“Give me one good reason.”

You were quiet, but you refused to let me go. So I just let you be. Honestly, I never wanted to leave. This was never my intention.


You were trembling. I could feel my shoulder was a little wet. So I tilted your head so that I could see your face. Tears are streaming down on your cheeks. I wiped it with my hands. You kissed my hand, which took me surprised. Mever knew you were bold. Then you looked at me straight in the eyes.

“I think I’m in love with you.”


Writer wanna be said...

asal sengket sgt entry nih? aishk! x puas ati! haha.. cepat2 lah abes kan crite kau b4 start sem2 ... btw, mcm mane dgn komik kau???boo